Cancer in the time of Love

seasons of love….

There is definitely a plague-like feeling to cancer in this time, affecting generations of years past and present. No, it is not contagious, yet it is as incurable as the plague, cholera, and consumption had been in their time. It interrupts and is spreading at a rate that is concerning to me yet unnoticeable to those unaffected, perhaps because it is not contagious, yet isn’t it? It is hiding within the air we breathe, the lotions we use, the lipstick we wear, perfume, the food many of us eat, and possibly the water in some areas. I am not fully versed on an intellectual level of the phases of carcinoma causes, I know now we all have cancer in our body waiting, waiting to writhe into a mass and sicken the body and heart of it’s bearer. Cancer in the time of love wilts the flowers of growing families and seals our fate for awhile….
Some get out unscathed or slightly interrupted by it’s profanity and others must endure a lengthy bout, and the unlucky, some must just accept the shortness of time as a bead of water fades on a rose.

Is the pain worth enduring, lasting extra years for a love which can turn into frustrations amidst the battle rising in a mine field of lesions? Everlasting true love becomes tested, children get tethered and relatives and friends ride the wake of shark infested waters trying to feed their loved ones soul, something rejuvenating. When there is no giving up, what does one do with these thoughts of bowing out of heroism. Did the courage die in the drought of undrinkable water? Will I awaken to disappearing masses when my brain clears and my nose can smell a rose? Have I yet to kill the tiger in this conversation of fading faiths…
I hope so. The time of cholera has past, so this time of cancer must fade eventually and I will find my love again. When my sweet boy will continue to bring me lavender to smell, it will resonate and I will teach him the tests true love and friendship can withstand within a variety of battles. We will bask in the thickness of a wooded forest, a plentiful harvest and lush waters when the droughts fade…..

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24 comments on “Cancer in the time of Love

  1. Mothers will walk across broken glass and shattered dreams for their children. That is what you’re doing, and I know it must be bitter sweet. I’m so sorry. What is this evil that grabs hold of us and rewrites the meaning of life and hope?

  2. billgncs says:

    I am unfamiliar with the tiger analogy, but I believe your great soul is love, and you will not be without it.

    • jelebelle says:

      It is from Love in the Time of Cholera. “bravo lion lady, he said when he left, we have killed the tiger” here it refers to the sexual tension…
      I used the imagery as a release of tension that cancer brings on, the doubt it can cloud me with.
      Thank you for your words and as always encouragement.

  3. I too am so sorry. It is upsetting that you are in pain and live with a heart that is so heavy. I hope you can feel the love of those of us who are standing beside and behind you.
    xoxoxo

  4. kris says:

    Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts. You have strength, it’s being tested to beyond which is imaginable but you have a young soul to nurture and because of that you will continue to push on. Each battle makes us stronger.

  5. Barb Snow says:

    Your writing is so powerful. Beaming you positive energy now and always.
    Barb in Minnesota

  6. exiledtyke says:

    As powerful as always. The simple answer to your question is, I think, “Yes”. You wouldn’t wish to lose the love in order to defeat the cancer so yes, it’s worth suffering the undoubted pain and torment of cancer to continue experiencing that love. Hopefully that love will help you defeat the cancer.

  7. user1deasy says:

    Whenever I read your words, I can’t do anything for awhile. I sit with the computer in front of me sort of paralyzed. You are such a great writer. You are such a great mom. And you are such an inspiring fighter. . . . then after sitting for awhile, I scroll down to re-read again. I know the meds take so much out of you (you describe feeling tired and weak) but your presence is so strong. You are a tremendous force right now.

  8. Yes, cancer does seal our fates, and its fallout & aftermath are great, but as long as people like you–brave, honest, determined–are fighting it, there is hope. I’m so moved by your words, and even as I write this I know my response is insufficient. Suffice to say, you kick ass and I’m humbled and amazed by you.

  9. Renn says:

    That was beautiful. Poignantly beautiful. Awesome writer, you! πŸ˜‰ Sending {{{hugs}}}

  10. Jen (Sturtevant) Meus says:

    So very beautifully written. Your continued strength drives others too. Take care and florish amongst it all!

  11. nat says:

    The power of your extraordinary words and thoughts alone is but one of the (strongest) weapons you wield on this effing disease. And these are the pieces that will come together not only for a great work you will achieve (in our place of retreat in Italy, it is always there in my thoughts) but as part of your grander masterpiece…. of the battle you are waging and the WAR YOU WILL WIN. thinking of you…

  12. I can feel the pain in your words. May the droughts totally fade for you and may you bask in the glory of love. xox

    • jelebelle says:

      thank you as always Jan. pain in the heart is slowing lifting…starting to regain focus and will begin my chores of lifting the pains in the bones, etc. best to you xo

  13. What a great post this is. My friend swears that cancer is our modern day plague and eventually it will take over…and sorry to say, she seems to be correct. I wish strength for you as you continue your battle…

  14. Jen (Sturtevant) Meus says:

    Jen, I have a question for you. I was hoping you could email me. jsturtevant_otr@yahoo.com I hope you’re feeling well. All the best, JMeus

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