What a day, what day, what a helluva day.
I took a break from chemo jail this week for being plain exhausted, and needing my body to still recover from the Eye of the Tykerb. I think I was kidding myself that I would actually feel good today. Last night, I felt a funny shortness of breath walking up a normal flight of stairs. This morning the same thing happened, plus I thought I was going to pass out after my shower. Seriously? What next!? I called the doc, and they had me come in for an immediate CT (we call it meow) scan! Okay…that didn’t make me nervous. Um why? Well, we want to rule out a pulmonary embolism. Uh okay, I’ll be right there. So, I headed in and got the meow scan, and nope not a PE. I did have to meet with the oncologist though…oh boy. My hubby had his fears and met me there; I was just baffled to have another issue piled upon the shell of my poor body. Apparently though, I had developed an allergy to the Taxol. So, I am done being taxed. My hands will hopefully be thankful, the cancer…well, here is where we find the faith. It was going to come down to a decision sooner or later to do a treatment change because the taxol is, well, really quite taxing after 7 months of weekly doses. Although, I left the docs office feeling completely drained and teary, tonight I have a good feeling about this forced decision. I am putting faith in the gods for handling it for us…that for me, there is a better, faster working treatment plan.
Faith is funny. Religious or not, we must find it in something. I really feel okay about this, though with a dash of fear the next dose of whatever will take time to adjust, and most likely have some kind of side effect to dazzle me. I have to have faith the new drugs will work as well if not better. I accept nothing less. I ask for all of your faith, musings, meditations, or feisty wit to put energy towards my continuation of healing. We can’t afford to lose ground on the progress made. My little guy needs his mama back in action soon!
Still keeping the calm…. (Lord knows how… Oh yea, faith)