Flavor Fail?

A little background so you all can understand the drama in this side effect…My husband is a chef, my mamma is Italian. W love food in our household. We like to eat well, enjoy wine, throw fantastic dinner parties, live sustainably when possible, etc.etc…

This chemo crap has really cramped my style, my pallete. I don’t miss the wine as much, my drinking was occasional, but God I miss good food. My diet consists of as much healthy veggies/juices as my belly can handle, but really all I can stomach these days are bowls of plain pasta with chicken broth, lentil soup, and maybe a tuna melt every now and again. In fact, licorice and gummy bears are really what helps the metallic, shitty taste in my mouth…and ginger ale helps the nausea. Ginger tea, and healthy options are attempted and sometimes they work, but overall…uck, ick and sigh is the general feeling and answer when asked what I want to eat.

Tonight, feeling totally defeated by this Tykerb, I just wanted a tasty meal. Don’t get me wrong, the lentils my mom made were very nice and yummy, but how many days can a girl eat lentil soup?! I miss going out to dinner, I miss our dinner parties and sitting around an abundant table with food from hard work and love from the kitchen. I miss the girl, who was the President of Quillisascut Education Fund QEF , a non-profit that provides funding for educators and students to learn about farming, food, sustainable practices, etc. Now, I have to be non-dairy and cannot eat a slice of cheese from the farm I so love. I am complaining right now. I know this part of me, of us, of our community will return and most importantly the kitchen love is still present. Yet, I think of how far I am from eating locally, practicing what I preached on the board of QEF, and oh yeah, there is nothing sustainable about cancer. So many toxins, so much waste in hospitals, and um no flavor.

I just wanted dinner tonight. A bowl of pasta with clams, lots of garlic, and red pepper flakes, or pizza, yummy brick oven pizza with my friends homemade cheese, the prosciutto from the pig we butcher, or a giant bowl of greens, with polenta, maybe some rabbit. My hubby writes the menus but all of that ‘sounds’ great. And when I can eat, I will be focusing on a veggie filled diet, juicing (which I do at least twice a week), and limit the carbs to more grains for my ‘say no to cancer’ health. I love grains such as quinoa and that works on occasion, but really now, I am in Flavor Fail mode.

Todays meals:
Raisin toast & a banana
Carrot, apple, ginger juice that I barely got down and a Wheatgrass with ginger shot
Pastina with broth
Lentil soup
Licorice

Rewind, repeat….

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4 comments on “Flavor Fail?

  1. On one side of the coin, an Italian mom and a husband who’s a chef, and on the other side of the coin is chemo, metallic taste and queazy stomach. Oh my goodness, girl. Just know your tastebuds will again sing with delight. Prosciutto… Now you’re talking:) I love prosciutto so much, I’m surprised I haven’t tried it on cereal.

    Brenda

  2. jelebelle says:

    Thanks for reading, and the encouragement of a day where I will enjoy prosciutto again 😉

  3. Violet says:

    Ha! ” There is nothing sustainable about cancer.” no kidding, miss, and on so many levels. I find that licorice and ginger are really helpful, as well — anything to get rid of the metal.

    I’m new to your pages, wishing you the best, looking forward to catching up on your writing. Hi.

  4. Kendra says:

    I’m so looking forward to real taste again. I feel your pain. I didn’t realize how important food was until chemo stole my mouth. Sigh.

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